today is a down day probably because I'm in so much pain from boot camp...
I'm back to hating my meal plan and I'm just bored with eating the same food every day...
why can't i have pizza once in a while and not have to kill myself in the gym the next day?
i feel like I'm giving up all the stuff i love... My kid isn't getting any sleep because I'm in the gym all the time and people who go to the gym less then me are losing more then me :( i feel like I'm killing myself at the gym for nothing....
even with my KICK ASS girls... i still feel blue... I feel like I'm failing and i hate that feeling....
I'm still bitter from the other day with the dick trainer.... I'm angry that my trainer doesn't care honestly care about us.... i just am mad that i keep gaining yet I'm doing everything like I'm suppose to be...
my body is getting older and it hurts more but not in a good way...Nathan says I'm building muscle but yeah ok that's fine but it's not the biggest muscle builder it's the biggest loser and right now I'm not getting smaller I'm getting heavier :(
I mean i wish you all could feel my rock hard legs that giggle a little and my rock hard arms that have some flying squirrels...
some days i feel very alone even though i know I'm not i just feel alone... no one truly understands how i feel.
Sorry this post isn't awww inspiring or happy go luck...
it's just a down day...
Rhyan's having ear surgery on Friday and so since i will have a 4 day weekend i'm going to start a cleanse :) wish me luck....
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